Last night I went to my first post-treatment cancer support group and it seemed like everyone's story was awful -- actually made me feel grateful to be me. I half-expected to walk into a room of sick looking people though much to my dismay everyone looked pretty good which means I have to go twice per month - (I hope you're happy). I was going to allow myself the luxury of not attending if the room was full of sickos. That was my one out! This group will be a 6 month commitment - twice per month.
I have mixed feelings about going to this group. I feel like the more I dwell on the subject of cancer, the more it's lurking right there...wherever there is. (Dwelling on food and fat has certainly made both front and center in my life.) If I live each day, I'm fine. It's like I don't know how much attention to give cancer (how 'bout none?). I have changed a lot of my health habits as a result of the diagnosis (in the hopes that it was in fact, all my fault that I got cancer to begin with like so many well-intentioned folks tried to tell me) so it's not like I ignored the diagnosis and went back to the same ole, same ole. I promise. I'm a new woman. Except in all fairness, I still have control issues. Control is in my blood.
Seemed like half of the people in the support group found out they had a cancer diagnosis right before leaving on vacation. I was leaving for Hawaii and found out two days prior.
Aloha. 'You have cancer. Enjoy your vacation! When you return we'll remove that enormous, life-altering, poi-filled tumor your body has been brewing for years in your wahine" Mahalo.
I've decided no more vacations for me from here on out. Chris can go to Italy with Satan. (See what I care! pppffftttttttt!) I'm thinking that vacations might cause cancer, at least in 50% of the people who take them (my made-up statistics). And the whole pre-vacations/illness diagnoses is too much of a crapshoot, one with which I am no longer willing to partake. After last night's group, for me, the evidence is in on this one. Don't say I didn't warn you.
6 comments:
POD,
Getting involved with others that have similar problems/interests isn't totally a bad thing. For one it can help you take your mind off the Italy trip. :) Kick back and see what they have to say, and if it gets too much you can always play a game in your mind as to which one is the serial killer.
Golly, I haven't been on vacation in years. Maybe that's why I've been relatively healthy. Physically, anyway. Mentally....
You have yourself a FANTASTIC weekend!
Good luck with the group. Groups can be a good thing. Who best to offer a reality check on your state of mind than several other people in the same situation?
Hi POD
You make me giggle!
I think go on as many vacations as possible, the medicos wil never catch up with you! Anyway, it's purely coincidence, or more that many people try to get financial and health issues sorted before they go on holidays...I cannot believe they are connected! However, the devil sounds like could do with a bit of a scare!!
From my experience, "groups" can help or hurt. I went to a men's group once and it was so negative and depressing I stopped going. I was a co-counselor for another group of violent men, and I found they supported each other's dysfunction :-(
The best I can offer is if it's like perseveration, and it's time to stop talking about it cause it makes you feel worse, don't go. The group will be there if and when you need it.
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