"Like My Hair?"

Yesterday I left work early. Went home. Got my checkbook. Went to get my hair colored. Left after an hour or so. Went back to Chris's house. 

Driving up to park in the driveway, I had a funny feeling in my gut. Walked up the stairs into the back door. Couldn't hear a thing. Walked through the kitchen. Noticed condom wrapper on floor. (Safe sex -- good.) Noticed pants and boxers on floor. Walked into front room. Noticed female pants and panties (Amber??) on floor. Reluctantly walked back into kitchen, opened Chris's bedroom door. Took breath. Walked into Chris' room. Sat on bed. Got cell phone. Called Chris. Chris answered. (No -- those were not his pants!). Told Chris of discovery. He said, "You're joking." I said, "No, I'm not joking." He said, "I'm coming home." I said, "I have it under control." 

I walked toward the sunroom. Looked upstairs. Placed call on cellphone. Person answered. I said, "Are you upstairs?" Person said, "Yes." I said, "I am downstairs." Person started to cry and apologize to me. I said, "Don't cry, please. Don't apologize to me. You have done nothing to me." I didn't want person to feel shamed. (I hate that feeling of shame.) Person tried to get grip with tears. I said, "Want me to put the clothing on the stairs?" Person said, "Yes." I said, "I want to meet him." Person said, "Okay." 

I gathered the clothing and placed halfway up stairs. I walked back into Chris's bedroom, sat on bed, called Chris again. "I have it under control." Chris was on his way home. He added, "I could call the police!" I said, "Don't you dare!"

Met both persons a few minutes later. Offered post-sex cookie, chocolate chip (my recipe). One person took me up on the offer. I commended persons for practicing safe sex. (Insert mini-lecture here.) Asked if I was supposed to throw out condom wrapper? One person took condom wrapper and put in pocket. 

I tried to think of something humorous to say. Asked persons "if [they] liked my new hair?" Both said they did. I felt good. I said, "Nice to meet you." I let them say their good-byes. I sat on the bed. I waited for Chris to come home.

Initially I felt kind of queasy, then shock, then some panic, then complete calm on the outside. I am really glad (and they *should* be too) that *I* made the discovery of them instead of anyone else. And I am really grateful I didn't find them on Chris's bed. (ugh!) I am glad I am not their mother. I bet they are too.