Good Old Fashioned Medicated Goo

I promised a  post of my visit with Dr. Le Pew. The visit was fine. He asked me about my French. I shrugged the question off -- I don't even try to ruin the French language. He made a joke. I can't recall what the joke was now but I remember laughing, and my laughter felt genuine, not the usual nervous, gynecological-doctor-visit-fake laughter. I had to wait for him for over an hour, undressed "from the waist down," sitting on the too small exam table. He had to tell the patient right before me that she had cancer. 

The most important thing was that while he was searching he didn't find anything. Though I don't expect him to find anything. If he found something, you'd probably hear me yelling. Or maybe I'd be calm? Hopefully I'll never learn the answer to that question.

The doctor and I discussed dry vah-j-jays. That's a common theme for me these days. I try to bring the subject up with just about anyone who will listen (in the library, grocery stores, blogs) though I mostly hit up folks in the medical profession. I like to see how they're going to respond because it's not a subject they seem to want to discuss or that has been my experience to date. Most doctors have turned their heads, mumbled a few words, pointing to bottles of goo on the counter in their exam rooms, stuff they use during exams with their latex gloves.

At my age and condition, we really need a definitive cure for the Mojave vah-j-jay. I believe the medical profession, and perhaps society at large want us to dry up and blow away (and most of all, please, please, please stop bringing up the subject of vaginal dryness!) (This is the point where you plug both your ears, saying aloud numerous times, "flower, bunny, flower, bunny" repeating as long as I continue to write about dry vaginas.) Yet, there's a segment of the dried out (or drying out) population that still wants to enjoy life, and part of living includes intimacy. We still want to express intimacy in only the way we know best - yelling at our lovers, "Please get off! You're hurting me!"

I have spent tons of hard earned cash on lubric?nts (don't get me started on the money I've lost in the stock market that would have been better spent on lube). If anyone has a super special suggestion, a cure-all for V dryness (latex friendly), let me know. I will call a town hall meeting and announce the news to all the folks with which I've been in discussion with on this very subject. In the meantime, I'll keep expressing my intimacy here.