Heck of a Job, Brownie!

This weekend we're driving on another tour in one of Chris's cars -- 1000 miles in three days starting early Friday morning. We have to be at the Golden Gate bridge at 8 am. I've known about this trip for some time now. 

After many years of traveling with Chris, I sort of have a trip ritual that I get into. Thus when I first hear about another one of his trips, I freak out. Then after the freak out, I relent, and then, right before the trip, I start to freak out again. My sister has noticed the pattern and commented that it seems to be happening again. So right now, I'm officially in freak-out mode.

One of the things that has really got me disturbed about this particular trip is this one woman who is not even a  club member! (neither am I). She wants to go on the trip by herself, driving her own car. That, by itself is not the disturbing thing.

Chris sent out an email asking people what foods they wanted him to buy for the trip. (Chris is the go-to guy for this particular trip. In other words, he's the mom.) After he got a vetted list together, he sent some other club members over to the local Costco to purchase the items. Then Chris sent an email out to the club members who are attending the event (and also a copy of the email to this random, non-club type car owning woman) and told them that some of the items they'd requested weren't purchased. 

You guys would have died if you saw this list. Lime-flavored Bud, Vitamin Water, Snapple, Lemon-flavored Ice Tea, non-fat Green Tea with apple-flavored dip sticks, apple juice with green tea extract, purple-green water with floating balls of jello-like substance suspended and floating in liquid -- a huge assortment of different kinds of crap drinks. You would have thought the list was compiled by 5 year olds. The list of soda alone would have cost a fortune, (rootbeer, diet rootbeer, caffeine-free, diet rootbeer, caffeinated rootbeer with 1/3 sugar, 1/3 Splenda,& 1/3 HFCS, Splenda-free rootbeer without carbonation. You get the idea.) The members of the Fiat club that went to Costco used their brains, (what's left of them) and purchased only two cases of soda total. We don't need 10 cases of warm soda for 28 adults on a 3 day trip. Plus these folks are all OLD which to me means they don't need any soda. Your soda days are long gone, geezers!

Chris sends out another email explaining to the adults that the club members who went shopping did not purchase everything on the list but that we'd have plenty of things to choose from to quench our thirst besides water (such as warm cola, warm vanilla-flavored rootbeer etc.) But this one car driving woman emails Chris and pleads with him to please "get some mini chocolate brownies." And because Chris and I had been having a laugh about the ludicrous assortment of crap (on a stick) proposed shopping list of food items, he forwarded her email to me so I could laugh at this insane request for mini chocolate (as if they come in some other flavor??) brownies, (from an adult woman, who if that desperate for brownie bites, better just stay the eff home.) The gist of Brownie woman's email below:

"...And if you don't mind too much, please get some mini chocolate brownies."

And up until now, I have not been able to let this go. I can't figure out if I've got a huge control problem (I do!) or I'm suffering from some sort of bizarre jealousy or if I'm worried about my food intake being sabotaged by brownie bites? I think it's absolutely nutty that this woman would email Chris and ask him to make sure he buys mini brownies. (And it's absolutely nutty for me to obsess about the nuttiness of it.) But she doesn't even know him. She's an adult. She could buy her own GD brownies or make a whole pan of brownies (something I would do) and make them tiny and put them on a plate for herself. For crying out loud, she'll be in her own car, she could put an enormous box of brownies, the likes of which no one has seen, next to her on the seat, stuff them all in her mouth (I have done this!) and die of an overdose on the way up the coast. I mean, out of all the foods on the planet, she has to have brownies and Chris has to bring them for her? I don't get it. And of course, I've had this conversation with Chris a shitload of times now because I am so flummoxed about this woman's request for brownies, and Chris is ready to kill me. I mean, I had chemotherapy last year -- I thought I'd be dead soon, and this woman emails Chris for brownies? Pretty please with sugar...

Needless to say, I told Chris if he buys mini brownies for this woman, that will be the end of our relationship. And if, after my promising to end our relationship, he still feels inclined to buy the brownies, I need him to buy me a five pound box of See's Candies for the trip. I will keep the candy in the seat next to me and overdose on the way up the coast.