Everyone in attendance seemed full of life for that moment in time; all willing participants. We had to give the reason we wanted to be there? Mostly we're ready to help others, the newbies and maybe that will help us understand ourselves even more. There was not a complaint among us. We shared some fun and some sad times.
We talked about how, when you are diagnosed with cancer, well-meaning people offer advice, make declarations and try to separate themselves from us. They ask how we feel about "the gift of cancer"? What foods we ate? And did we know that "negativity causes cancer?"
We talked about when all the excitement of cancer treatment is over, our husbands, lovers, friends expected us to take cancer off like removing an old dusty coat, and get back to our lives as they were before cancer. Quit feeling sorry for yourselves. "Can't things be the way they were?" We talked about how life is never, ever the same as it was before cancer and never will be again. Knowing our time is limited, it was time well spent.
3 comments:
Thank you for this post.
It is so hard for those of us who have not actually "experienced" cancer to understand the feelings one has, and the changes it brings in one's outlook.
One can never look at life the same way after going through a life-threatening experience.
I do try to be sympathetic and understanding and try not to offer up the platitudes and/or ask the stupid questions. But I've been around quite a few people with cancer, so perhaps it has made me a little more sensitive to the issues.
Of course, having Uncle here is an "experience" in itself, regardless of the cancer diagnosis. (Only 9 more days before he sees the oncologist and finds out what the prognosis is....)
That was a very educational and meaningful read, POD. Thank you!
You know . . . I believe in all the energy woo-woo stuff, and even *I* know that there is more to it than "negativity causes cancer." And even if I thought that were IT, THE ONLY CAUSE, I would hope that I would not be enough of a jackass to say it to someone unsolicited.
AND - "THE GIFT OF CANCER?!?!?!" SERIOUSLY? PEOPLE ASKED YOU THAT????
Ahem. Sorry for the yelling. If you never bitch-slapped anyone who said that, I would just like to commend you. You are stronger than I.
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