Light At the End

I've noticed for several weeks (it's been since July that I experienced a breakup), that I feel increasingly functional. Not that I ever lost function except perhaps the very first week, post breakup, where I still had to go to work, cried constantly, putting one foot in front of the other, and struggled to find anything with which to smile.

Now I move through my days and rarely consider my former bf, where at first, I could hardly catch my breath I was so stunned. These new feelings and the awareness of them are like trying on new clothing and damn, I look good! *snap snap* After the initial blow in July, I knew that some day, I'd recover, notice, and be grateful for life, my family, friends and good days. I never lost gratitude. I gained more gratitude.

I'm reading The Wisdom of a Broken Heart by Susan Piver and enjoying it. Post breakup, I read a ton of books hoping that they'd provide answers though just like anything else, the answers and healing had to come with time. I had to give up an investment in the mental story I had written, my planned future. I saw an end to that story that I never imagined. It was fantasy. My feelings of sadness had to be cured, like ham. I finally feel the sadness going away and it's a glorious feeling, --  light at the end of a tunnel.

My sister (and I love her) reads my blog. She says that you commenters leave only nice comments, cheerful snippets. I told her it's one of those if-you-have-nothing-nice-to-say, then-don't-say-it kind of deals. We're like cheerleaders for one another though many days I am not as cheery when commenting.

I told her to shut the hell up! Then I put some itching powder in her thong.

Feel free to write some nasty comment so she will know we are all human.

Hannah is holding her authentic  Made in China plastic glow-in-the-dark heart that I bought her. It has different lights, glows, and one day this heart will break too.