Pomp and Circumstance

Tomorrow is the big wedding day for Hannah's family. I have nothing to wear though I am not freaking out because this wedding is not about me or what I am wearing and I think it's easy to get lost in all of the pomp and circumstance. I've not had my nails done nor had a nip or tuck. I may pluck a few hairs and lordy everyone knows the outer edges of my nose are hairless, like a baby's bum-bum on the center of my face. No short people will be appalled looking up at my face unless they are blocked by my chin first.

I've not spent a nickel on a new outfit. I've no make-up or hairpiece. No new earrings. I heard Oprah once say that the average person spends about 20 seconds looking at another person - as long as their breasts aren't hanging out (I added the breast part) so I figure no matter what I have on, no one will look at me past 20 seconds and by that time, I'll be giving them the evil eye for looking at me. I'm not sure I ever notice what anyone else is wearing. I've always been sort of clueless that way. I forget to compliment people on their new hairstyles or the latest outfit. Though I *do* notice when someone is not wearing anything -- though not for long. Hannah will be wearing her "wedding" dress and walking down the isle. I told her to remember that after the wedding is over, it's open bar. Yay! All the maraschino cherries (sulfur dioxide and FD& C red 40) a four year old can eat!

Speaking of open bar, we went out last night with a group of people. My Hawaiian son, Danny (is here for the wedding), my friend, J, my sister who needs to stay drunk to endure wedding pressures and her husband. We know the waitress. She's a young thang - barely 21 years old though sweet as can be and very influential with the bartender. But she had called-in sick! Dammit. I asked her whereabouts to the other waitress and in doing so, met her roommate, Alley, another sweetie pie. So Alley was our waitress for the evening. We ordered drinks. I ask Alley how their trip to "Vegas" went last week. She told me they went to a strip club and that she wasn't into it. The strippers were really aggressive, she said. Ewww. As Hannah and I would say (to her parents disapproval), "caca-doodie." Alley said the guys who were stripping grab the back of your head, shoving your head toward their thong-ed (thank goodness!) penis and then demand $20 from you for the neck-wrenching shove. Ugh. I couldn't deal with that. I'm sure my heart would give out or I'd vomit. I am so glad I am old(er) if that's the real excuse/reason I don't go to male strip clubs. That, and the fact that I can't physically afford to be in traction for long.

It's good to have my son back home for awhile. I have not seen him in about 3 years. He can be kind of high maintenance but what kid isn't? Actually anyone inside my house other than me, I consider high maintenance. If you're breathing on your own that's good enough for me, come for a visit. He's only here until next weekend. He's helping with work at home while I'm blogging working at work.

Hannah was over the other day and brought one of her preschool graduation photos. Looking at her in her cap and gown reminded me of how important it is to graduate except I don't recall anyone making a big deal about graduating preschool though now it seems to be the rage. I asked if she wanted me to rent a limo for her graduation? She replied, repeating my phrase back to me, "rent a limo...," she giggled.  I'm sure she knows what I'm talking about. When my sons graduated middle school a friend's mom rented a limo. I was incredulous. At the time I wondered how the parents would top the limo come high school graduation? Perhaps a yacht or renting a blimp is in order. Good thing I graduated from trying to keep up with the Jones-es.