"Don't you know little fool, you'll never win
Why not use your mentality, come on step up to reality."
Last night I got home from work later than usual because Hannah had come to work and I definitely wanted to see her before I left work for the day.
Hannah celebrated her 5th birthday last week. I didn't make it to the party because I didn't discuss with anyone *where* the party was being held, only what time it would occur (12:00). I automatically assumed the party would take place at the blue ball park which Hannah had been going on about for months. Her personal birthday party plan, she'd said like an event planner for the stars would take place at the blue Ball park, with a pony cake and a pinata and that was good enough for me. Though the party venue turned out NOT to be at the BBP where I sat in my car for nearly an hour while the dog slept in a crate in the back seat. And passersby looked at me like I was some kind of park pervert, sitting in my car on a sunny Sunday afternoon with a sleeping dog.
Needless to say, I missed the birthday celebration (and the magician and ten screaming girls) cupcakes and celebratory food stuffs. Something tells me that my forty-five minute respite in the BBP parking lot was a good way to spend my time. Though I still have to get a present for Hannah and I wanted to get her a camera because she is bossy. She said, "A pink one!" I wish buying a digital camera for a 5 year old were that easy - just buy the pink one. Who cares if it takes decent photos. Hannah's pretty adept at using my camera already which is why I wanted to buy her one of her own. She's grown tired of posing. Hannah also wants new underwear. I said "My size?" and she looked at me incredulously, saying, "no." But I just thought that would make the gift that much more special for her.
Upon arrival at home last night, I decided that I needed to find Bella another home. She's too much work. She's exhausting me! When I parked the car, I noticed the hanging plants (and what remained of my garden) in desperate need of water. The plants in the pots hung like microwaved bacon in the late afternoon heat.
I hadn't eaten most of the day because something felt icky in my stomach (whatever I ate the night before - most likely). Though I still needed to eat some protein. The plants needed attention big time. Bella starts barking at the hose. Then she barks at water. (She barks at the paper shredder. She barks at the hair dryer. She barks at the vacuum. She barks at the Dust-buster.) She barks at me. I'm completely surrounded by the beauty and quietude of the redwoods, red tail hawks soaring above. I'm surrounded by a barking puppy that I've decided I'm too old to take care of even though I love her and she's worth all the effort (what effort?). I'm watering, dragging the hose around the garden to the assorted potted bacon, apologizing to other parts of the garden for ignoring it's needs because all I have time to do is make protein shakes and ask the puppy if she needs to go outside to pee, and when I ask her, she barks at me. I'm on the verge of tears thinking about how much work it took me (and how incompetent I felt as a young mother raising twins) and here I am at age 54, raising (?) a puppy that will probably grow as ungrateful as those kids.
While watering potted jerky, Bella continued to bark at the hose, the water. She became completely soaked, attacking the water, and then got muddy and filthy. I thought she had to have a bath before I sat down to finally take a load off. As far as a bath goes, Bella hates the kitchen sink too. She barks at shampoo and she claws at my chest. She's scared of the water in the sink but not scared of the water from the hose. I was completely soaked when we finished while her ears did not get cleaned.
Finally got to make my protein shake. Vanilla with 4 frozen strawberries -- not supposed to eat any fruit though so remember to call the food-cops. Recall that Doctor Crabby told me I had to lose 20 lbs before the next appointment which is Sept 1st? I've already dropped 7 lbs since the appointment last Wednesday because all I have time to do is ask the puppy if she wants to go outside to pee, and make protein shakes, and cry about ungrateful people which I actually think burns a lot of calories. Thankfully Bella does not bark at the protein shake mixer and this lack of barking at my one household appliance has me totally perplexed though I try not to think about it much. To a dog, making a protein shake isn't a traumatic event.
I forgot to mention the flies. I walked into the swarm bedroom, aka the fly-nasium, Flies R Us where there were a minimum of 50 flies buzzing joyfully around the window which meant something dead or dying was in my room or maybe my house was sold out from underneath me and the Flyberts moved in while I was at work.
I quickly got the dustflybuster and bussed them to the nearest exit door which is the same door with which I say to Bella, "Bella, want to go outside?" She bounces outside for 5 minutes, and bounces back inside just in time to pee under my bed.
So with Bella nipping at my creepy toes, we went on a hunt to find out what had died.
And the only thing that died was the urge I felt early in the evening to give her away.