Downlow on Doctor

Corgis at the beach - April 23

My visit with Dr. LePew was interesting and funny. He asked me how I was doing? I told him I was feeling a bit apprehensive. He said, "Because of ME!?!" And I said, "NO! shaking my head (like he was some sort of doofus) -- "because of the nature of this appointment." Rectal exam, pap smear, exam with crowbar, horseshoes etc. It feels as if the doctor sticks everything he owns up there. Everything he owns but one thing. It was funny that he thought I might be apprehensive because of him. I wonder what he would have said had I confessed that my apprehension was about him? 

He told me that I'd lost 30 lbs since I last was there in Oct last year. He was really pleased. I've lost just under 100 lbs. Although the urge to eat; the addiction was not surgically removed. I still feel the urge at times and feeling it is interesting which is one of those non-compliment compliments.

I have lost the ability to stuff things that I crave inside of me -- which so far is fine with me. It's sort of like being a smoker and having your lungs partially removed. The doctor comes back into the room and says "You can only smoke an inch of that cigarette and you can only smoke it 3 times a day." The way you used to cope no longer works. Sometimes I just sit and think about how I have to sit and be aware. That's all I can do. Though sometimes I knit. 

The doctor asked if I would be able to eat a hamburger, fries and a milkshake? I said, "No, why are you asking me on a date?" He was really only curious about the effect of the surgery and had told me previously that his wife has friends who've had the surgery and one of them had gained weight back. Maybe he saw her eating fries and drinking the shakes. If I ate that stuff, it could only be a bit of it and then I'd spend too much of my time on the toidy so forget it. Not worth it. The doctor felt nothing (join the club) and there was no sign of cancer. I got the lab report back too and they were "pleased to report..." For now, I'm living.

Another plus about the appointment is judging from the amount of skin hanging off my ass since having gastric bypass surgery, I don't need to use those paper covers they give you to cover up once you get into the exam room. Now I can cover myself with my own butt skin and I stay a lot warmer waiting for the doctor to arrive to quiz me about my apprehension.