Me and Bobby

Bella sniffing for other dogs (if you get my drift)

On a beach drag with Bella.  Notice I have the camera?

I met with my cancery friend again last Saturday morning. We took photos of ourselves together though I don't feel I can post the photos without asking her permission. Plus she's about 10 years older than I and I look ten years older than she is. Why would I want to post more unflattering photos? We had a good visit. She said she wants me to come by her place and pick out some items of hers that she won't be taking with her.  I told her I felt honored though mostly I feel sad. I will be seeing her more, at least a few more times per month.


I got to see Hannah over the weekend also. Seeing her was the highlight of my weekend. She spent some time in my car while we were driving from one place to another. The entire time Hannah was kissing Bella telling her how much she loves her. If I were the jealous type I'd be in trouble. I'm really happy that Bella doesn't eat Hannah or vice versa.


Hannah and I watched a bobcat eating something smaller (than us) in the backyard. I nicknamed him Bobby though Hannah was not having any of my "Let's go pet the nice kitty!" routine.

This Too Shall Pass

I've been thufferin with issues that belong to other people. 


I've had a blogger friend suddenly die of breast cancer and two friends with metastases. My coworker, Matt, (I wrote about Matt for Livestrong Day 2010) has brain mets and had to be life-flighted by helicopter to surgery. He's doing well now. He had just returned from Disneyland and wants to go to Hawaii. 


The female client with which I've been peer-counseling through Womencare found out she has lung mets. I read her path report and the contents of the report took my breath away. I saw her last Saturday and will see her again tomorrow. She figures she has about 6 months to live. There is no chemo for her type of cancer except she's been on a clinical trial.

Matt gave permission to show his head.

I've sort of felt like the wind fell from my sails. Try as I might, I can't find a lot of humor in this news. My attempt at a joke with regard to Matt was that the surgeons had a tough time locating his brain. Matt laughed and so did his wife, Julie. (Julie concurred with me.)


Mostly a person can't laugh this stuff away, no matter how much I want to do just that. Give me time. I'll think of something.


Hawaii is this next week. Bella and I have been doing good aside from other people's disasters.

She Ain't Heavy

I watched part of a television episode of the docu-reality show Heavy last night on A&E. Though I am no longer that kind of heavy, I can, and will always relate to these folks suffering. In one of the first segments of the show the producers flashed a sign across the screen that read something along the line of lymphedema is caused by extreme obesity which I thought was really careless of them. That is my paraphrase, however, when I read their statement, I was annoyed. I was not born an obese baby yet I was born with lymphedema as are many people on the planet. You don't have to be fat to have primary lymphedema and you don't have to have lymphedema to be fat. These TV people, whoever they are, pretending to be the font of  knowledge (my projection onto the TV gods) need to get their facts straight. Everyone knows that lymphedema is caused by aliens.  If you're doing a television show where the obese have pannus of lymphedema hanging from their legs, at a minimum use that moment to inform correctly. The National Lymphedema Network has a page dedicated to the causes of lymphedema.


The TV show should have posted the following statement after asking for my opinion (IMHO): 

Lymphedema can develop when lymphatic vessels are missing or impaired (primary), or when lymph vessels are damaged or lymph nodes removed (secondary).

Of course, being obese doesn't help ones lymphedema and having lymphedema doesn't assist with obesity anymore than either of those conditions helps a heart condition, ones predilection to diabetes or a thong fitting properly. Where obesity plays a part in lymphedema or vice versa, is when the lymphatic vessels have been overwhelmed and/or damaged by excess weight gain. Don't take my word for this. Consult a real doctor. I only play one in my mind on occasions.

I weight 187 (at 5'8") which probably sounds (to some folk) like I still have pendulous blobs (pannus) of lymphedema hanging off my body though I've reduced my own leg lymphedema by a third easily or more since having the gastric bypass surgery in June 2010. I do not have measurements, only pants. I now have what "the others" refer to as normal-looking legs. The pounds come off more slowly now though they are still coming off. Again, I have no regrets about choosing the surgery to gain better mobility as I age, the increased energy I experience has been phenomenal, the ability to pick myself up should I fall, is reward, and fitting into much smaller clothing. Anyone who says gastric bypass (or weight loss surgery of any kind) is the easy way out (which you hear all the time because I guess we're supposed to keep on suffering - all together now) can kiss my much-skinnier-than-their-ass. Dieting, occasional binge eating, the constant obsession with food, and beating myself up for failing and flailing was the easy way out (aka death) at a much younger age.


I'm preparing for a trip to Honolulu. My son lives there though  -- get this...he's moving back to the mainland about a week after I return from visiting him. By that time I'm going to be sick of him. I mean, if I have to pick him up at the airport, I'll cringe. I'm hoping he'll phone a friend or call a lifeline. Maybe he'll take the cash cab. 


I'm not taking Bella with me so can she stay with you? Let me know how you want to arrange for my sending her to your place. She has a lot of toys, balls and chewie things, plus a crate. 


I'm going to Honolulu with my mom. She's currently wintering in San Felipe, Mexico. She'll fly back to N. Calif and we'll fly out of San Jose to Honolulu where we'll stay at the Hilton Waikiki Prince Kuhio in a deluxe ocean view room complete with breakfast. (I'll pilfer fish to eat throughout the day.) We get an official lei greeting at the airport. 


This may be my last opportunity to visit Hawaii in this lifetime so I'm considering bucket list-type items (lei, drink on the deluxe, ocean view veranda, umbrella in drink, muu-muu fitting, breakfast with Dog & Beth, torture session exercising with Gilad) The lei greeting..., well, my prospects for getting lei'd otherwise are slim.

Move 'Em Out!

I drove to and then walked at the beach in Rio Del Mar prior to going in to work today. I met my sister who brought me a steaming hot cup of coffee that tasted more like I should be sitting on my ass down to take in the splendor of this cup of joy instead of being dragged by a leash taking the dog for a walk in the dark, in thick morning fog.


The whole point of my walking is to exercise the dog so she will rest which when you think about it is quite a vicious circle. I have a dog. She needs exercise. She needs to sleep. I need to walk her so she gets exercise and so she'll be tired enough to sleep. It's a trick! If I were not a dog owner, I'd be at home asleep but instead, I'm out in the fog on the sand with my sister and my dog, gazing toward sunrise. The only folks out that early are the homeless guy who lives in his Vanagan and a bicycling garbage picker who carries a big plastic bag that increases in size with each stop. There are also a few invisible women in their 40s and 50s but since we can't see them, I won't include their details here. Suffice it to say, invisible women need their exercise too so their children can see them when it comes time to put them in a rest home.


I started writing this post just around lunchtime. Hannah drove up in the back seat of her Grandma's car.  I stopped writing. I tried to get Bella and Hannah on my lap for a photo but Hannah was having none of it and Bella, well, she was being Bella. I can't win with these two. We all went for a walk down the hill.

Exercise is finally more important than some things. It helps to be able to move. Moving a smaller body makes the whole exercise experience easier. Maybe that's why I was so rebellious toward exercise in the past. It was a lot harder to move the whole herd than it is to move one animal.

Beach Bunnies

Saturday I went with Bella (the hun) and met my sister for coffee. Sister phoned Hannah's mom to walk over to the coffee shop to join our klatch. Hannah's mom brought Hannah and the younger of the wicked step sisters. When the girls came within sight of the coffee shop, Hannah started calling out Bella's name. Hannah hadn't seen Bella in a month so Hannah seemed excited to rekindle their 5 year old girl/dog friendship. From across the parking lot to where my sister and I were seated outside of the coffee shop,in the cold, buried under hats with hoods up, scarves, gloves, and contemplating getting the car cover out of the trunk to throw over our legs, the scene looked was reminiscent of two young lovers running towards each other on the beach only with one of the lovers on a leash with a dog toy.


After our coffee ritual, we drove to Rio Del Mar to walk - down and past the cement boat, chasing sandpipers and seagulls most of the way to New Brighton. The sun was shining, all was right with the world.  Bella and I went back to repeat the beach walk again on Sunday, and again this morning at 6:30 a.m. just as the sun was coming up.


I'm going to do this more often. The freedom of movement inside this much smaller body of mine is remarkable. Almost no knee pain. No hip pain. The only pain if you can call what I feel pain is from actual movement, like eventually my legs go "ouch." A few times I would jog on the sand. My once upon a time (though no longer) plumpity plump sister running up behind me shouting "Are we running!?"


And yes, we were.
It feels great to be able to run, a simple thing that is not so simple when you are fat.

Dog Eat Dog

"The dog's agenda is simple, fathomable, overt: I want..." 

Caroline Knapp

"As of now, I am in control here..."

Alexander Haig

Bella was with the trainer for nearly three weeks. Of course it rained most of that time and the trainer did not have Bella exclusively (she boards animals too) so she said she would take Bella back for 1-2 weeks time (for free!) and work with her more. The trainer also said that Bella was a pain in the ass and this was due partly to her breed, her age and her personality. I've had this thought that my life was going painfully well for some time now so it makes sense that I chose Bella to enhance my life and along with those fantasy enhancements, I'd get chaos and a complete feeling of dog-owner incompetence.

Bella is much more calm since training. She has not started eating my carpet (again) or climbed up on the kitchen counter since she came home. She sleeps in her crate all night without incident. She sits quietly in her crate at work - not all day long. Mostly she seems calm like a bomb, more relaxed and peaceful. My sister suggested that Bella must be on drugs (good idea!) Plus she pees outside all the time, not my sister, but Bella. Before she went to training, I'd take her out to go potty and we'd mull around for 15 minutes while she sniffed at the air and told me in so many dog words to eff off. I'd take her inside and she'd pee right inside the door, usually within seconds. Now all I have to do is take her outside and say "go potty"and she squats within a minute or less, and at least pretends to pee which thrills me no end.


I have been (for two (whole!) days) walking Bella around 6:30 a.m. (Not part of any resolution). The sky is  mostly dark at that time (although I've been waking up around 4:30 a.m. so by 6:30, it feels like lunchtime.) Suffice it to say this time of the morn, the brightest objects are stars and (of course) inside my head, the radiant repartee, while the flashlight I carry specifically to guide our way into the darkness casts a faint orange glow. A cigarette would light the forest more brilliantly. Remember, we've no streetlights out here. The sky is pitch black unless the moon is up.


We won't be visiting the dog park much, or going to the dog beach, nor for the time being, visiting with the dogs that live downstairs. There is too much calamity involved, too much unpredictability. Attempts at training Bella when she's alone around other dogs have been fruitless. Once she gets revved up there's no stopping her until she's exhausted, and in some cases, been attacked by other dogs. Exhaustion is okay if that's all it is. But other dogs attacking and pummeling, teach Bella to attack and pummel. Believe me, Bella does not need attack and pummel lessons. (I want to be the pummeler in our relationship.)  I don't want a dog with aggressive behavior. I want a fluffy, sweet, lapdog who loves me unconditionally and gazes into my eyes at night - a tiny, cute dog that poops dollar bills and understands english. (Because I'm delusional) I thought a corgi would fit the bill. The Queen has corgis and the Queen speaks the Queen's english. I want to be able to bring my dog with me when I go places that dogs can go and not have people cringe at the mere thought of a visit from us unless those people cringed prior to my owning a dog in which case, cringing burns calories so cringe away.


So it seems I've got myself into some more drama which means I need to keep some distance so I can see the whole picture, clarify and restate boundaries (more radiant repartee!) remember who's in charge (NOT THE DOG!) and love this dog all at the same time. 


Ahh, compared to what I've been through so far, raising and training Bella to poop dollar bills should be a piece of cake squared. 

Update on Lymphedema Treatment Act 2010

Happy 2011!
I have Bella back though she's still a nutjob. I'm serious! Enough about her.


Now that it's 2011 and the new congress is reconvening today by placing roadblocks in front of any progress, below is an update of the Lymphedema Diagnosis and Treatment Cost Saving Act of 2010 (formerly HR 4662). 


Heather Ferguson writes:

Because we are in between Congresses, and nothing can be done legislatively until our bill is re-introduced this month I have another VERY IMPORTANT task for everyone to work on…help us gain the endorsement of the American Cancer Society!

SEND TO: 

http://action.acscan.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Website_feedback;

http://www.cancer.org/Aboutus/HowWeHelpYou/app/contact-us.aspx

One [link] is the main American Cancer Society and the other is their Cancer Action Network.  They are staffed separately so sending [a note] to both will maximize impact.  Even if you contacted them in 2010 we need you to contact them again at this time.  They have agreed to consider supporting the bill once the bill is re-introduced – so now is the perfect time to urge them to do so!  Your request only needs to be a few sentences so please take a couple of minutes to complete this ASAP. 

In your correspondence with them, please include something to the effect of: 
I hope the American Cancer Society will promptly endorse the Lymphedema Treatment Act (formerly HR 4662) when it is re-introduced in the 112^th Congress.

What and how much you say is up to you, but if your lymphedema is the result of cancer make sure to include the part about  the Lymphedema Treatment Act. 


This news isn't new - my lymphedema wasn't caused by cancer. It was caused by bad karma. Regardless I'll make sure that I click on the links to both organizations listed above and make my voice be heard (again). I hope congress isn't too busy tapping their toes to help get their job(s) done.


Oops there goes that karma thing again.