Revenge in the End

After receiving a phone call from the surgical coordinator at the hospital, I have decided not to have the colonoscopy procedure. My copay, they told me, is $1080.00. I  thought I had pretty good insurance though good is relative and with insurance companies, good is also subjective and the definition probably changes by the minute. Don't get me wrong - I am very grateful for the insurance I have. Yet like so many people (in this economy) (though not congress or Wall Street types) I can't afford to spend that kind of money right now -- not because I would have spent it on Christmas gifts, because I refuse to go consumer crazy out of principle. Just yesterday I received a propane bill for $700 (now THAT's consuming crazy!) Propane is how the "renters" (who can barely afford to pay rent) that live downstairs, stay warm. Upstairs - I use wood, sweaters, and fleece sheets which I highly recommend, btw -- if you can afford them, which you can if you shop at Ross (and I hate to hawk the big box stores but in this case, I have not found fleece sheets elsewhere) because the sheets are about $24 bucks for a set and one set will last you a year. Do the math --that's cheap, warm sleep.


The hospital coordinator said that because I presented with an issue (a small amount of bleeding  -- though only on one occasion, and certainly not to make light of small bleeds because that is exactly how the uterine cancer I had was diagnosed) I must pay the $1080.00 copay though if my colonoscopy were routine, Blue screw Cross would pay 100%. Their rationale for payment doesn't make sense to me. If they find nothing inside me during this colonoscopy, then it would be routine but if we wait until something tragic appears and I am diagnosed with something icky, requiring more medical care, isn't that going to cost more in the end? If a person becomes sick, that person not only has the sickness to deal with but the ever mounting stack of medical bills and stress from having to pay those bills, however if a person is healthy and "routine," Blue screw Cross pays?! Gradually (hopefully) if a person gets sick or sicker, they use more medical supplies and suck the system dryer before they croak, probably leaving any living family with medical bills to pay off. This is why the powers that be invented cardboard coffins.


When I turned 50 I had a routine colonoscopy mostly because five years before that time, my husband died of colon cancer. I was nervous - I had seen what he went through; the suffering. I knew colon cancer wasn't contagious -- at the time my only symptom with which I presented was grieving widow. I guess insurance paid for the 'oscopy' though I don't recall -- I've slept since then.


I guess this is just one of the tricks the insurance companies use to encourage people away from testing,  unless a test is considered routine which for me will now be when I turn sixty, in 5 years. If any cancer returns by that time, I am vowing to suck down as much chemo and invasive procedures as my body can handle in order to rack up medical bills. This is the only mature attitude I can take. I'm not going to own a phone so the bill collectors can't reach me. They will have to send mail which means that if the USPS is out of business, there will be no way to reach me except with a visit to the chemo room or perhaps a quick visit to my hospital bedside to ask me to sign a check over to them. Maybe the Pony Express will be back in service by then since we seem to be moving backward in this country rather than forward.


My mom offered to pay the copay, however, I'd rather she bought turkeys for the homeless. She gave birth to five kids and if by some chance we all start to bleed at the same time, this will become for her, a Sophie's choice moment. Having to make those kinds of choices is too high a price to pay for health. I'll make the choice for myself, but the added encouragement and support of Blue screw Cross.

Road Dents

As usual, I am apologizing for being MIA. Yet, how arrogant to believe anyone is even reading especially without my posting for so long.


I write in my head almost daily, however the software required to get these "writings" from inside my head to blogger has not been perfected, --  most likely won't be perfected in my lifetime so these writings come and go.


Speaking of going, I am going to have a colonoscopy in early December which will be my second colonoscopy in the last 5 years. There is an issue though I do not think the issue is all that serious and more importantly Blue Cross will probably think the issue is not serious enough to pay their share. All remains to be seen, literately and figuratively. The liquid clean-out stuff cost a buttload


Recently I visited both the regular oncologist and the gynecological oncologist, both of whom suggested the colonoscopy. Yesterday I visited the colonoscopee-r. She was great fun (for a doctor) so we decided to go ahead with the procedure because there's nothing more fun than a laughing doctor with a colonoscope. Did you know that the chance of a perforated colon is about 1 in 1000 and if the colonoscopee-r perforates your colon, you get to have (near) immediate surgery?


BTW, Bella says "bark!"


And Bradley said, "Janell, did you see the banana slug?" And I declared with gusto, "I did not!" -- though there are plenty of them to see, even some left over from last year -- because with a bit of heat here this summer, banana slugs flourished. We see the same slugs over and over. Bradley said he wanted me to see the banana slug. I said, "When it comes to seeing banana slugs, if you've seen one, you've seen them all, unless they've been hit by a car in which case they are all different." I was thinking about the design of a run-over banana slug. To which Bradley replied, "Seriously, shut up!" A phrase I taught him in part -- the "seriously" part.


Last Sunday I got together with some of my neighbors for whine (yes, I know that's not how you spell the liquid) and horses-doovers (yes, I know that's not how you spell the food). This was the 3rd get-together for me in the history of my living in these mountains. I do not know now if I am more social now because I am thinner (since the WLS) or if I am more approachable because I am thinner - me thinks it's probably a combination. I wish I knew the exact explanation though I can't explain why I wish I knew. The neighbors and I had a great time or at least I had a great time and would do this getting-together again. *hint*


It is sprinkling rain outside this afternoon. I have several finished scowls though I keep putting off taking photos and posting the photos though 'tis the season!'. The colors are really beautiful, stylish and I have changed the beading.  I can't figure out my feelings of procrastination, -- what's causing me to put off some of the more important things I need to do unless it's because I'm busy writing in my head, knitting and dog walking.


Bella and I took a walk up the road and there was a coiled snake, a small one that I did not see until the snake, disturbed by a sniffing corgster, struck out at Bella  -- though no permanent harm was done. The snake was only a small King snake with a get-some-warmth complex. Why do snakes have to sit in the road? Bella was alarmed enough by the snake so that when we next approached a coiled rubber-band, she was on high alert and knew not to get too close. She jumped about 2 feet waiting for the band to strike. And we were slightly disappointed yet relieved. When we walked by the snake a bit later that afternoon, it had been run over by a car. There was no striking this time. Just a much cold(er) tiny, less strikey-er snake carcass -- no longer needing to stay warm. In fact, the snake looked a lot like many of the banana slugs I've seen of late.

Double Toil and Trouble

I've been sick with a chest cold-type, mucous-y illness for well over a week now. They say it's going around. I have not gone to the doctor, well, the mucous doctor -- though last week I went to the gynecological oncologist who told me to get a colonoscopy -- he's the same oncologist who frequently declares *during* the rectal exam that "if you aren't getting a rectal exam, you're being cheated." Then he adds a cheery "Do you think I enjoy this?" To which I twistingly reply "Aaarrggh." 


I don't want to be told that I have a cold or a upper respiratory thing that's going around. I'd like to stay off antibiotics. Mostly I try to suffer in silence (except for the hacking, mucous-filled cough, occasional wheezing and nose-honking). I use a Neti pot. I am writing about my sinuses (not to be noisy and let you in on my suffering because I'm not really suffering in the scheme). Believe me, this is nuthin!


 I'm writing to offer a healthful hint.


No matter how plugged your sinuses, do not attempt to clear them using boiling water in your Neti pot. 

Holler Days of Yore

Bradley walked around the corner from the back deck, shrieking the words "poop! poop!" as loud as his voice could shriek. I panicked, "WHERE? In your pants?" He shrieked back, "No! Shoe!" I looked down at this tiny sandaled foot and saw that he had stepped in a pile of fresh Bella poop someplace nearby. I immediately took his shoe off, rinsing it in running water. We set out to find the offending pile-o-poop.


The pile looked totally innocent (to me), sitting alone, though now, disturbed on the back deck, t'was quite nearly fresh as a, well, fresh - we'll leave it at that --with a tiny sandaled footprint planted perfectly in the center of the pile. A work of art! The teeny footprint entrenched deep in the doo.


I shuddered.


Who does that? 
I mean, really, who does that?


I said to Bradley, "Why did you do that?" To which he replied, "I don't know."


Remember when you were in pre-school and someone -- let's say it was your teacher  -- instructed the class on how to make your hand imprint in plaster of paris? This craft would become a holiday ornament with a neatly tied red ribbon, cherished by all for years to come. Yet no one ever asked "Why did you do that?"

The Cole sisters in the days of yore