The Promise

One of my most fave things to do with Bradley other than wrestle with him is to go for a drive on the woad (as he says.) We load up Bella (who would rather skip it) and with Bradley sitting on my lap, we go for our drive. Below is a video where I make him promise me not to drive like a maniac.




If you see us coming, stay off the woad!

See? I Told You

Through all the ancestry work I've been doing the past many months, ancestry and history with which I've become addicted -- I've discovered a tragedy. Since this discovery I've felt crushed, however, I imagine that I will survive (until I croak).


I am related to Jacob See. Jacob was my second great grand uncle. He spent a few years in San Quentin for sheep rustling back in the days of yore. He ran for sheriff after getting out of prison. That takes some kind of nerve though politically, this path is on par.

Jake See - he was as colorful as his past

But, and it nearly makes me weep as I write this...I am not related to Mary See of See's Candy fame (and fortune!). Rumor has it that she came to this country from Canada. (BL!!!)




So see? Mary See is nothing to me. And although I have been a huge (both in girth and enthusiasm) advocate of her wondrous candy goodness my entire life -- ever since having had WLS the thought of eating that candy kind of makes me want to RALPH. And that makes me sad. Alas I'll choose to suffer occasionally in order to keep peace between our countries.

Traitor!

The Best Gift of All

Last night I got everyone on my Christmas list the same gift. The idea came to me in a flash. I felt the idea was just this side of genius.


I had my eyebrows, chin hairs and nose hairs waxed so anyone with any kind of eyesight won't have to feel as if they are watching a Bravo reality show about hunting for Yeti when they see me on Christmas day.


This gift cost $36.00 plus a tip. I was generous with the tip too. This time of year I find myself feeling more compassion. I give a lot of thought to the gifts that benefit the most recipients while still keeping finances in check. 

Unsung Heroes of the Forest

This is a beautiful montage on the banana slug. They are the ultimate recyclers. 
Bright yellow and going green.


Start singing!


(When the ranger mentions "most fascinating and interesting," I was almost thinking he would start talking about me. Alas...)

A Rogue Holiday

The holidays just haven't been the same since that one year Rogue spent the day in the shadow of Carol Doda.

Fashion Fixes for Frumps

I was reading through the January issue of Oprah when I came upon an article about problem areas on women's bodies. While reading the article I discovered that I have turkey neck, bat wings, frump butt, muffin top, a pooch and cankles. To correct these faults I need to buy hundreds of dollars worth of shapewear to remodel my far less than perfect, frumpy, agey butt, some gray tape to tape up my bat wings, a hacksaw for my cankles and a plastic bag to put over my head to end it all.

Before the days of chub-rub

The experts say not to wear a turtleneck to cover up the turkeyneck but to wear a V-neck, perhaps something with a brightly colored, enormous arrow pointing down and away from the turkeyneck to the pooch area -- which is the area of the belly that sticks out like a spare tire over ones sagging, graying genitalia.


On a kinder note, I do not have armpit fat, double boobs, and something the magazine referred to as chub-rub. This calls for a celebration in part where I cancel my subscription.

Word to the Wise

Bradley has been taking photos. I let him use my camera and he shouts "CLOSE YOUR EYES!" which I guess is new age for "Say cheese!"


In that instant, he takes a photo of himself because the camera is aimed at his own face. 
  
I got Bradley to sit still long enough so we could take our photo together. Gawd -- I remember sitting close to my elderly aunts and uncles and being scared to death of those pointy chin hairs, weird facial crevasses, moles and skin tags, missing teeth parts and the assorted bacteria lurking within. 

My family wasn't raised to be a very huggy, touchy family. Sitting near these old folks was horrifying. Our being raised as less-huggy was most likely in direct proportion to the mystery hairs and crevasse levels of the individual with which we might be forced into a hug.










I'm pretty sure spiny hairs and fissures are one reason Bradley, prior to taking his photos has learned to shout out his warning.

"CLOSE YOUR EYES!"